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Pat's Story

Our family lost our dear son and brother, Patrick Ryan Gay, at the tender age of 22 on July 15, 2007. He was tragically killed by a hit and run drunk driver while walking along the side of a road near Charlotte, North Carolina.

Pat graduated from James Madison University on May 5, 2007 and worked diligently to find his first job out of college. He landed a job with Lending Tree in Charlotte and moved there on July 1, 2007. We were extremely proud of his accomplishments. He had lived in Charlotte only two short weeks when he was called home to be with the Lord.

Patrick was a very special young man. He was loved by everyone who knew him and always gave his undivided attention to make others feel special. He was a very compassionate person who had a heart of gold. Many people who knew Pat perceived him as being shy but he had an incredible wit and sense of humor. Do you remember these “Patrickism’s” that we all loved?: “Oh Yeah”, “Ja Done!”, “Next”, “What a Guy”, “Ahhhh, What’s that Deal”, “Awesome”, “Greek”, “Love it, Love it, Love it”, “Not my …………”

Pat was such an appreciative young man, a gift that he displayed since his childhood. He was a well built handsome young adult standing at 6’1½” tall and weighing a muscular 180 lbs – boy did the young women love him!! He had a wonderful circle of friends from Warrenton as well as from college which was quite evident at his funeral where there were approximately 1,000 people in attendance……….what a wonderful tribute to his life.

Patrick is survived by his Dad, Tom, as well as his brothers, Chris and Eric. His dear Mother, Pam, unfortunately passed in March of 2019 after a courageous battle with cancer. Patrick was the middle child of our three sons and he and his brothers were best of friends. They all shared a common bond with their group of friends.

Shortly after Pat’s death we decided to honor him by having an annual charitable golf tournament. The proceeds of the tournament would raise money for a scholarship to be granted to a Fauquier High School student accepted and committed to attend James Madison University. With the help of many of our dear friends, we held the 1st Annual Patrick Ryan Gay Memorial Golf Tournament on May 23, 2008, which would have been Patrick’s 23rd birthday. This tournament continues to be a huge success and the outpouring of love and support from our wonderful community has been indescribable.

This memorial golf tournament has been named “Pat’s Q”. The “Q” was the nickname of Pat and Jon Ross’s apartment they lived in for three years at JMU. It was originally named the Head“Q”uarters which was the hot spot at JMU where many important topics were discussed and decisions were made. Eventually it was shortened to the “Q”.

“Pat’s Q” is more than just a traditional golf tournament. It is an amazing gathering of family, friends, and the Warrenton community who are there for the single purpose of honoring Patrick Ryan Gay. The 17th Annual “Pat’s Q”, scheduled for May 24, 2024 at Stonewall Golf Club, looks to be a sell out once again. We look forward to another awesome day celebrating our beautiful son and brother’s life.

We truly feel positive things can arise out of bad situations. Losing Patrick has helped us develop a much closer relationship with God. The Lord is the primary reason we are able to carry on with our lives. He has given us tremendous strength and continues to comfort us each and every day. We know He and Patrick continue to watch over all of us from above.

With love,


The Gay Family

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